TO A FREAKIER ASHEVILLE IN 2015

I read Katie Herzog's blog "How a weirdo city became just like everywhere else".

As an official Freak Of Asheville, I would like to apologize. I'm not doing enough. And, I left. I left and came back. I'm back. There were a few months, when I was gone, I have no idea how freaky the streets of Asheville were. I was busy freaking up the streets of Chicago.

But, I'm back. And, I promise to get freakier than ever, in 2015. My Chester Cheetah persona will get a good video to show the world how Chester gets down in the A-V-L. I'm working on a new clown, named Richard Potatoe. My XXX clown, Mista Gag will expand his kinky and musical operations.
And, 2015 is the year I start busking/crowdsourced public performance.

Though, if you think the freaks have left, you might just not be looking in the right spots. I performed clown bondage at The Odditorium, Toy Boat community art space, ("Metropolis"), and The Landing.
I can been seen in dance clubs such as Timo's House, The One Stop, and Tiger Mountain sporting full clown make up and a gag ball in my mouth. I'll occasionally wear a cape as I whizz down a hill on a purple and tie-dye bicycle. I do circus tricks, every day I wait tables at Salsa's. I've enabled all sorts of gymnastic, athletic debauchery by providing The Landing with a twenty foot long stripper pole. I'll wear costumes masks, three deep, at the Grove House and Metropolis building. New Mountain, what? Let's all just keep calling it Metropolis. Like, I'll have a costume and mask on, take it off, and another one will be under it. i'll do it again. three costumes, three masks. who the fuck does that? And, have you seen Slappy O'Face in action?

I don't think the freaks left Asheville, I think they just stopped going downtown. They are more like wizards in a muggle town. Not mingling. Self segregating. Asheville knows about that. Our freaks are getting more ninja-like, aiming to entertain themselves. I dunno. Maybe the muggles are just getting oblivious to the freakiness around them. They are too busy enjoying their delicious craft beer, comfortably numb from the clown with the two foot 'fro walking down the street.

Maybe,.. maybe 2014 did have a decline in freakosity. If Meat was still locked up, Nathaniel Deardoff Downey in Richmond, Moksha in Atlanta, Kitty being all professional and productive, and I was in Chicago for a few months.

Like I said, though. I'm back. And ready to live out the old saying, "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro". Asheville ain't all breweries and bars. It's also sexually charged clowns ready to bury their root chakra in the energy vortex of their barely legal yoga instructor.

Happy Fucking New Year!

Let's do this shit.